Lately I read the FountainHead. It turned my whole concept of these two words. Earlier I had attached good feeling with the former word and bad with the later one. But now I guess things are changing. Altruism means for others. Others must matter above you. Their thoughts their needs everything. Then you start doing a thing so that others might appreciate you. They must approve of you. And not that you really want to that job. The result that perfection and determination can never come in such an act. Thats in a sense curbing your independence. If I look my life its much more comprable to the charachter of Peter Keatings although I never achieved success like him. But yes the thought process was the same. Always thinking about others. Never doing a job because I really loved the job. Everyone was running for a seat in reputed college for engineering, I also ran in the same direction as my family members thought it was a good thing to do. Here also in job, do this thing as your manager ...

So today is friendship day. Ideally I should have been celebrating with my friends this great day. But what am I doing, with no one to talk to, I'm left with my diary with this monologue. I don't know whether I tried or not but I certainly went to one of my faltmates and told him clearly that I'm going to get mad in few time. But he didn't even care to look above from his lappy. I don't know what has changed inside me. I'm hating each and everything. I'm unable to get my thoughts and action together. It seems I'm tethered away. Don't who cursed me for this life. I myself used to inspire people and give fundas like there are lots of positive energies around you. Just try to grab them. Feel right. I'm unable to walk the talk I did. Last two days should have been rocking in usual cases as I did what I like. On friday evening went with one of my teammate to a pub. I tried to enjoy the time. He gave a lot of fundas realted to career. But it only spar...